this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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