I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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