Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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