I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
