I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and she was petting her beer can
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
