Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
