It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
