When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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