Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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