I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
