I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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