the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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