YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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