So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
