I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.