Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
