alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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