Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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