Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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