i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
