You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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