only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
