Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
