i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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