Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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