If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
