Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize