last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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