I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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