I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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