Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My dick has a subreddit
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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