just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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