im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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