yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
