Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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