I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
