Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
