I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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