She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
