It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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