Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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