he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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