If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
