SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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