so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize