the condom got lost in my hair
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
