i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize