lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
