Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm at about main and main street
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
