just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wear drunk well.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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