First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You took a bar mat shot.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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