It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
