Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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