She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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