Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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