You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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