I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Buhtt sex?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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