Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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