Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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